Shaddup Your Mouth! 8X12 Review (**1/2 out of 5)

--Sorry the reviews are out of order. I will get 8X11 up soon!

"Raskolnikov!" as Boris Badenov used to cry, and I second the sentiment. Brooklyn ‘Til I Die left me rather frustrated. A game where the “rich and powerful come to play with young and beautiful creatures of the under world” except not quite to so dramatic. My mom always said to be careful wielding a fake gun and a cartoon alias—wait, no that actually never came up in my life; ever. Note: The rich have way too much time and money on their hands.

I’ve said it before, but I always cringe when I see Written by Aaron Rashaan Thomas pop up on the screen. His episodes are usually pretty weak, and this one marginally exceeded expectations. Two characters, a man and a woman, laughing as they run from a “crime boss” and his cronies, killers show up, kill girl, take guy, try to get ransom money from rich, cold, unfeeling father, get caught, add some details in the interim—that’s the episode. Easy enough premise, but choppy execution, or rather I should say repeated execution. The show has become Kill, Solve, Repeat.

How many episodes have involved some kind of ridiculous scavenger hunt or game across the city? We’ve done this storyline…a lot! It’s not impressive or interesting any more; it’s just stale. No matter how they try to dress it up. Though I loved Gary Sinise’s expression when the “crime boss” actor, assuming Mac is part of the game, starts to go off about “his” establishment. Gary’s perplexed face sets me to giggling. And why does it always come down to some kind of specialty store—where thy keep a detailed list of the customers and what they bought. Is there really no other way to progress an investigation? A magic shop, a clown store, a joke shop, a murderer memorabilia shop, and the list goes on.

I will give acknowledgement where it is due. I enjoyed the idea of the son coming up with the ransom plan. That was an interesting way to incorporate the son’s understanding of his father, and the actual plan to use the security guards was equally effective. That was a nice touch, just not enough to save the episode, especially when we are stuck with stilted dialogue like “We find those kidnapers we find our killers.” No shi…um…crap, Sherlock (though you want to talk an awesome crime drama? Mmmm Benedict Cumberbatch!). A blatant lack of finesse in the writing; Mac says the motivation is greed, he’s talking about the kidnappers…or is he? The father is just as bad. It’s all about greed. Yadda yadda yadda. I get it, a moose and his squirrel would get it! And I know we are meant to feel for the son, which I do on some level, however, he gets all “Do you know why I played this expensive game, bought an expensive dress for a hot woman? To get away from my father.” Riiiiiiight, absolutely no hypocrisy in that.

Remember when CSI’s were just, you know, CSIs? Flack ran the take down of the drug lord in Snow Day, but now Mac is in charge of ransom drops? The occasional incidence of stepping outside the bounds is forgivable, but this kind of blatant reworking of the police force is unbelievable and frustrating. It was much more believable to have Danny freaking out over Lindsay going undercover in It’s Not What It Looks Like since, and I quote, "It’s not our job." Except now it is.

I really don’t understand Jo and Lindsay’s relationship. How many times last year did we hear about Jo and her children and how she wanted to keep them safe or how she would feel if her kids were in danger, etc.? Lindsay mentions Lucy, and Jo rolls her eyes. “As endearing as that sounds lets focus on one severed appendage at a time.” Shaddup your mouth! I would actually find this interesting if I thought it was going anywhere or was part of a bigger storyline, but I just think it is ultimately a result of poor writing. The Jo of the seventh season has left the building.

I’m always hesitant with Mac’s love life—here today, cast for another show tomorrow. So for what it’s worth it was nice to see Mac with a friend. Though they end the episode gazing at each other…ooh, some veiled reference to the happenings in Mac’s past. Luckily we’ve never had a storyline like that before…

B.Y.O.B. Bring Your Own Broom 8X10 Review (***out of 5)

What to say about this week’s episode of CSI:NY? Hmm…truthfully I don’t have a lot. Clean Sweep felt exactly that, like a bit of a chore, a bit of a bore and a bit of tidying up. This wasn’t a flashy episode, nor was it particularly inspiring or emotional (not really, despite the attempts to force it on the audience). And neither was it glaringly awful. It was just…meh…

The case was fine, the characters were fine—it was all fine. Like a type of movie where one would say, “Don’t waste money seeing it in a theater but spend a $1 and rent it from Red Box.” I just wish the show wasn’t so blindingly obvious sometimes. Argue what you want about the show but the fact that it adheres to a formula cannot be denied. The reason I say this is because I can predict nearly ever aspect of every case/episode. This isn’t because I have some Sherlockian ability to capture details; it is simply because the show never strays far from its own self erected narrative fences. For example, when Lisa Richards (Laura Breckenridge) reveals she is pregnant this tells the audience that Ryan Richards (Alex Nesic) is not dead. Because the show always places the out of the ordinary right under the nose this becomes a “tell.” Unless I’m playing for money I’d rather not know the opponents give away, it makes for a very laborious viewing process.

I physically cringed when Adam zoomed in on the photo and the image magically became clearer rather than dealing with that silly pixelation issue. Sorry, that’s just a pet peeve of mine. I hate it when any show or movie does that. Moving on.

I was interested in Jennifer Walsh (Vinessa Shaw) and her purpose; not as Mac’s love interested but what she was inquiring about: officer misconduct. I’m curious if that is going to be a potential storyline or if it was just a convenient way to work her character into Mac’s life. I did, however, laugh out loud at Flack’s prank on her. That was a nice character moment for Don and I appreciate the show giving it to us (though poor Mac, between Danny and Don he never gets to meet someone without their interference). I also thought it was very telling when Walsh made the comment about people believing Mac to not be so “strict” with the rules. Seems I’m not the only one who’s noticed his willingness to bend his code of ethics when the story needs it. Gary Sinise played the scene well and he and Shaw had some nice chemistry. It was fun to see Lindsay giving Mac a hard time—another nod to some character continuity.

Bits and pieces were interesting, but again nothing really grabbed my attention or piqued my interested. The pacing, directing, and dialogue were all adequate. The episode flowed nicely. I could have done without the Jo/Mac recap at the end but then Mac’s “Flack is dead line” was so hilarious I’m willing to forgive. I do disagree with Jo about doing anything for love, I felt the episode had more to do with the criminally under prosecuted issue of stalking in the USA, but I understand her sentiment. And good for Gary Sinise using his show as a platform for Veterans' issues. It can feel awkward in an episode but if he's got the power and he's willing to use it for good then I say go for it. Otherwise the episode just doesn’t garner much scrutiny, so I’ll leave it at that. (Am I drunk? I don’t think I’ve ever had a review this short before…wait a second, I don’t drink…what’s wrong with me?!)

What do you think? Wedding bells for Mac on the horizon?

Up Next: A couple’s “divorce-stand-off” even The Ref would have found challenging!