What's the Spanish Word for Douche Bag? (7X13 Review) *out of 5

Well, it’s back; that terrible stench of mediocrity and half-assed story telling, culminating in a horrendously boring and lack-luster episode. This week’s episode, Holding Cell, is perfectly named, because right now CSI:NY can’t get itself out of it’s self imposed funk. The season of new writers and new directors has directly translated into a season of perfectly terrible episodes, one right after another. I have spent weeks trying to eek out redeeming qualities to every episode I have reviewed, and it is getting tiresome. Last week’s episode was one step forward, this week’s was two steps back.

Here’s the deal; writer Bill Haynes isn’t new to the show. He has written some fantastic episodes, but he seems to be at a loss with the single case episodes. Battle Scars is still one of my least favorite episodes because it was so BORING! This episode suffered from that as well. I was b-o-r-e-d. The episode groaned under the weight of slow pacing and inactivity. The narrative was choppy and inconsistent. It is really frustrating because Haynes is usually so good at bringing in the CSI:NY characters; The Box, Point of No Return, Redemptio are all great examples of episodes that involved the characters and their lives in the episodes. This episode bounced from character to character without much flow.

This week was again more about staying with some formula. I am so sick of Danny/Don scenes, because there is no substance to them. It’s all about how cheesy they can be while trying to track down some "doot ta doot" (I even used it in a sentence and everything). There isn’t much balance anymore. Even the Danny/Lindsay moment we got didn’t have much more to it than a chuckle. I’m glad we got a mention of Lucy, but it’s just sad to be excited over what is ultimately not a whole lot. I will say that I am glad Hawkes got a little more screen time than what he’s been allowed this season.

The dialogue in this episode drove me crazy. I couldn’t believe some of the things coming out of Mac Taylor’s mouth. When addressing the mother of the dead man, and wanting to get her to allow them to keep the body, Mac argues with, “It’s in your son’s best interest.” HE’S DEAD! What in the world could possibly be in his best interest?! Did I mention the guy’s dead? That is one of the most ridiculous lines of dialogue I’ve ever heard, and I nearly turned the episode off after that. It appears that Mac Taylor is this year’s Horatio Caine and I say, “no thank you!” I want my Mac Taylor back, the one who isn’t such a douche to everyone one. The way he treated that mother and the visiting detective was embarrassing. I know Mac Taylor’s character. I know what to expect from him, even appreciate his shortcomings as part of his character, but even I just had to roll my eyes as he and Jo stormed the embassy. He gets so insanely defensive over everything, and I’m tired of it.

Last week I commented on how CSI:NY is what it is. Meaning, we have to accept the occasional campy, or even silly attempts at emotional manipulations, and I more than accept them, I appreciate their role in giving the show its own unique stamp. There have been several powerful episodes, but I mostly think the show needs to stay away from the more sincere forms of moral social commentary. Euthanasia and depression are two topics that seem outside the show’s depth--at least in this new shoebox form of storytelling they've adopted. The show is trying to be something it’s not. Sometimes a crime solving show should stay a crime solving show. I’m not saying there shouldn’t be growth and development, it should just make sense, it shouldn't feel so forced.

I actually went through and deleted my first review. I initially tore the episode to shreds. I seriously hated this one, but I just couldn’t bring myself to post it. So I limited myself to what really drove me nuts. I’ve never been able to just watch something. While keeping in mind that sometimes it can just boil down to personal preference, I try to pay attention to directing, writing, editing, music, dialogue, special effects, acting, cinematography, pacing, continuity, characterization, symbolism, etc. That is fun for me, I also think those who participate in creating something would appreciate their efforts being noticed. So it’s saying something when I couldn’t find much to get me going this week. Just remember that I love this show and I loved last week’s episode!

Guilty Pleasure: Lindsay. She was was great in this episode.

Highlight: Hawkes’ laughter. I love that sound